Disappearing mothers

The rewriting of history and the betrayal of a mission

Last week I discovered that I was inadvertently still on the LLLI mailing list when this email arrived in my inbox.

Until relatively recently, even while the language of mother and mothering was disappearing elsewhere it remained in the emails that were asking for money.

They talk about “legacy” all while betraying the very legacy that Marian Tompson and her co-founders left and in the Mission of LLL that can still be seen (for now at least) on their website.

The “inclusion statement” that follows the mission makes a mockery of the mission when it numbers sex among the long list of characteristics of those who should feel included. LLL really has utterly abandoned its mission and it seeks to rewrite history when it tells us that it is celebrating 69 years of “helping families… nurture their babies”. What utter nonsense, it has helped mothers breastfeed their babies.

LLL’s failure to hold to the reality of the fact that it is mothers, not families, who breastfeed is a deep disappointment to many, many women. Supporting “everyone” to “feed their baby human milk” is not what LLL or indeed any breastfeeding support organisation should be doing. It removes the mother from the picture, and the mother-baby dyad, who should be the centre of all breastfeeding support, are nowhere to be seen.

As a long-time LLL leader pointed out to me, that phrase “one drop at time” is also concerning. Babies don’t survive, let alone thrive, on drops of milk; that’s okay though because mothers produce plenty. You know who produces drops though? Men who induce lactation.

Does LLL really want to support “everyone” who wants to feed their baby human milk? Because that is a child protection risk and when, inevitably, there is a child abuse court case involving an LLL leader who has supported a man to induce lactation and “breastfeed” a baby, LLL will be complicit.

This isn’t inclusion; it is an utter disregard for health and necessary safeguards and boundaries that are there for the safety and comfort of mothers and babies and to ensure genuine inclusion of all mothers.

I have replied to that email with my thoughts, but I don’t anticipate a response. And I’ve unsubscribed from all emails now, so I won’t have to witness the continuing self-destruction of a once great organisation.